User talk:EEng

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this user asks you to take precautions: 1. Maintain social distancing by starting new posts in new sections, to avoid contaminating other users. 2. Follow the one-way system by putting new posts at the bottom. 3. Sign your comments to facilitate contact tracing.

(a/o February 2, 2016: 131 stalkers, 81/89 "active" [4])

There is currently a discussion at Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents regarding an issue with which you may have been involved. ᴢxᴄᴠʙɴᴍ (ᴛ) 00:27, 3 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedians hate fun, more at 11. LilianaUwU ^{(talk / contributions)} 18:55, 3 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

What's that Bradbury story about the butterfly getting crushed underfoot? This page is like that – yet prey pray tell who could've predicted this from that (or that from this)? Cheers, Cl3phact0 (talk) 21:02, 3 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

The part that astonishes me is that some people have software that is incapable of dealing with an amount of text that would easily fit on a 1984-era floppy disk. Their misdirected anger at the existence of pages that show how bad their software is would be better directed at its programmers. —David Eppstein (talk) 21:23, 3 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

My favorite complaint was someone said that it was an issue due to working on metered connections 🙄. Dr vulpes (Talk) 21:25, 3 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

What's that? on YouTube -- Cl3phact0 (talk) 21:38, 3 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I have a much less powerful system than Rambling Rambler or Insanityclown1 but it didn't take any longer than 10 or 12 seconds to load this page before it was gutted, and it never crashed. Even if it had taken a minute or two that time would have been spent on thinking about what I was going to write, and I have a longer attention span than a gnat. Phil Bridger (talk) 22:13, 3 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Well, if it crashes, I suppose that's a good test of your equipment/software/connection. But, as we all know; thinking is dangerous and currently out of fashion, O3000, Ret. (talk) 23:21, 3 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

The problem is editing on mobile. I have a relatively high end phone, and it took somewhere around 45 seconds to load the page, a wait I find unacceptable. I do also recall it taking much longer to leave discussiontools replies on posts.

I was okay putting up with it, for the record. But others might not be. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 03:23, 4 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Have you worked out how long it would have taken you to do the equivalent 40 years ago, before the world-wide web had been invented (and when telephones were reliable)? Phil Bridger (talk) 21:58, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I'm genuinely wondering what kids born today will be complaining about future systems, in the year 2050, to the then mid-aged gen-Zs, probably in the future version of Wikipedia.

海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 14:23, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

HALE MAAW? Do the underlined parts mean something? ~2026-18394-94 (talk) 02:37, 27 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Some browser extentions like DarkReader slow down the visual editor; these issues are more pronounced for pages like Milky Way that weigh in at 0.2MB, and is initially an issue for unsuspecting noob editors like me before I learned to edit in source and/or turn off my extentions.

Another caveat is that the iOS app for Wikipedia seems to always load the entire talk page, and freezes for tens of seconds when opening e.g., Talk:X (social network) (0.3MB). (One reason to use the iOS app is for the powersaving compared to e.g., rendering HTML5s in safari). 海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 04:57, 4 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

That being said, I find it really, really, really absurd to bring such a technical issue to the ANI. Bug reports please. 海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 04:59, 4 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Because browsers need to parse the HTML and CSS of a page first before displaying it. 1MB is just the wikitext's size of a page; the HTML size is way bigger than that, e.g. for this revision, it's 5MB (which is a lot of HTML to parse).-- sapphaline (talk) 19:43, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

5Mb is not a lot of data for a computer. —David Eppstein (talk) 21:34, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

It is a lot for HTML specifically. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 22:02, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

• I'm gutted. And I'd entirely missed the AN/I (learned about it at WO), partly because apparently my graphics card is dying, so right now I'm peering at the text in this section through skeins and squares of coloured artefacts. This slows down my reading. Meanwhile people who prefer to use their cutting-edge pocket doodads got the MIT quiz and all the rest of our fun deleted. Phooey, I say. Yngvadottir (talk) 04:42, 4 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

• This page is now too short, my Intel Core i9-10900K and 64GB of DDR4 is just sitting there unused right now and this greatly disappoints me, as the entire reason I bought this beast of a machine was to have this userpage loading quickly. What a terrible investment I've made. —Locke Cole • t • c • b 18:49, 4 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

  Can't win for losing. EEng 02:38, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

  Hey, remember that thread that one fellow made giving you a warning that "Your talk page is becoming short" as a gag? I think that may have accidentally been a precognition, with the ambiguity of the present tense versus future tense. Apollo's curse. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 08:16, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

  Or Christopher Walken's curse? EEng 10:15, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

  Welp, I guess that's one less wiki page out there to justify the purchase of my new 4K Ultra HD 27" monitor :( . — AP 499D25 (talk) 10:29, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

  Apparently that one stupid ANI thread is causing the bottom to fall out of the world computer industry. EEng 11:14, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

  Well, at least you know you've done some good. Phil Bridger (talk) 14:38, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

  RAM still ain't getting cheaper, but maybe now that it won't be hoarded for reading EEng's talk page, it might drop by one dollar. TheClocksAlwaysTurn (The Clockworks) (contribs) 15:01, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

  Could this pop the AI bubble? MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 20:41, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

  Maybe it's not all doom and gloom after all, because yesterday I just snagged an RX 9070 XT graphics card from a local retailer at a pretty big discount. Thanks Wikipedia community for bringing GPU prices down! — AP 499D25 (talk) 10:36, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

• One must always keep everything in perspective and concentrate on what is currently important to the human population (that is invading this beautiful planet). The back cover of the 1969 Jefferson Airplane album quoted Jorma Kaukonen: Let me answer that question by posing another -- Why don't the Pentacles keep their evil spirits away? O3000, Ret. (talk) 22:13, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

If you have problems with your pentacles, see a manicurist. --Tryptofish (talk) 22:16, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I gilded pentacles on my fingernails in gold leaf. Was expensive at first. But now my manicures are all free. O3000, Ret. (talk) 22:41, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

How did I get all the way down here so quick? It used to wear out my scrolling finger.  Mr.choppers | ✎  23:41, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Um... there's a persistent skip-to-bottom button at the lower right of screen. If only you'd known. EEng 23:46, 5 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

The large print giveth and the small print taketh away. -- Cl3phact0 (talk) 06:11, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I swear the "home" and "end" keys on a keyboard are as little known about as the turn signal stalk on a BMW... — AP 499D25 (talk) 11:11, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Oh my god. You're telling me I can take the #skip-to-bottom-anchor out of my Teahouse and help desk convenience links???

...is a question for which the answer is "no", due to the fact that a phone doesn't have an end key. And neither does the mobile view render any skip to bottom buttons. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 17:43, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

On iPhones I've noticed that tapping the very top or bottom edges of the screen has the same effect as home and end keys respectively, although I find it much more annoying than actually useful as I do it on accident almost all the time. — AP 499D25 (talk) 06:50, 7 May 2026 (UTC) [reply]

I demand the mapping of PgUp/Dn and Home/End mapping to fn+arrow keys as part of the ANSI keyboard layout standard. 海盐沙冰 _{/ aka irisChronomia / Talk} 12:52, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

But then I miss so many possible rabbitholes and sidetracks.  Mr.choppers | ✎  15:45, 10 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Now, goddammit, this talk section is getting too effing long! I demand that someone start a new talk section! Off with his head! Off with his head! I'm... I'm... sorry, I forgot to take my meds. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:09, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Off with whose head? Eeng's? Also why should God damn this page? Actually, which section of hell do damned talk pages go to? Also, which God are you asking to damn this page? Fun Chaos (talk) 22:03, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I'll refrain from deifying Jimbo, but damned talk pages clearly go to WP:CESSPIT, which is one of the nastiest circles of hell. (And don't get me started on the demons who make a habit of hanging out there!) --Tryptofish (talk) 23:08, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Oof, I am a demon? I commonly hang around the dramaboards for entertaining reading. Also, is not this Talk Page already there? That was what this topic was about originally, right? So is it already damned? So how could it get damned again? Or was this post having weird retroactive changes and a paradox? Where you got this page damned, and thus eventually made that comment? Fun Chaos (talk) 23:21, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

If you get two doctors together, you get a pairadox. But don't dox anyone. --Tryptofish (talk) 23:28, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Should it not be a pair a' docs? In some accent? What accent is it? Also why should I not dox people? As far as I know I can read whatever poetry I want to towards people. Freedom of speech.

Also, what makes two doctors separate from two documents, they are both pairs a' docs. Fun Chaos (talk) 23:50, 6 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

We have taught you well, young apprentice. --Tryptofish (talk) 00:02, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I am very stressed at this exact moment, though not due to any factions of editors at Wikipedia or actions of editors from Wikipedia, so even if I am taught, it is through no fault of your own but purely mine. Fun Chaos (talk) 00:29, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

For those whom have been distraught about this talk page now being too short: This section is around 15K bytes in size, and at around 360 bytes per comment on average over the ~42 comments in this thread, we only need about 2,740 more comments to reach the illustrious one million bytes in size. So, what are we waiting for? - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 02:35, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Fun fact: there are 272 unique ways this comment could show up: 2 for who and whom times 4 for complaining/distraught ect. times 17 for each unique descriptor of 1 million bytes times 2 for the strike out status of the last sentence. (Yes I counted, I also probably miscounted. Feel free to check my work. Or y'know, don't, you probably have a lot better to be doing with your time). GrayStorm^{(Talk to me|My Contribs.)} 03:02, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I am still a little sick, so while I'd love to be writing/copy-editing articles, I don't think my condition is quite good enough, so I decided to make this copy-and-pasted comment with the {{random item}} template, not really caring about the total number of possible combinations. (However, I was mostly focused on whether or not the one-million bytes text could show up as that CS1 error more than anything else, really.) Although, I was absolutely not expecting somebody to do the math on the total number of combinations, honestly, so props to you! (Despite the fact that your comment plunged me into the apocalyptic depths of edit conflicts.) - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 03:21, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

This comment has at least 746 () different variations. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 21:43, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I honestly never knew that the {{random number}} template existed, even though it has 5600+ tranclusions, and seems to be a high search result for "Template:Random". Although, in my opinion, having a comment that uses it for randomness doesn't produce the same effect has having parts of a comment use the {{random item}} template. - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 22:04, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Not sure where you got 7,000 from; I see ~5,600. ~4,600 of those transclusions seem to come from {{WikiProject Hampshire}}, and ~600 more come from (I suspect) various usersbox. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 22:26, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

 Self-trout ..I think I somehow misread "5,600" as "7,000". Completely my fault. - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 22:43, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

If you are wondering, I counted 15 unique descriptors for the one-million-bytes text; maybe you accidentally counted two of them twice? - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 03:42, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I looked through the page history and... a million bytes? That recent ANI thread must have done something to motivate you so editors can communicate. But, if I remember correctly, /Archive 14 would now be a mess... (on second thought, the syntax highliter in the source editor contained an /Archive 15 when typing up the link to /Archive 14. Maybe I was wrong. ~2026-28007-74 (talk) 12:03, 9 May 2026 (UTC) (talk) 12:03, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

@~2026-28007-74, did you mean to leave a huge amount of broken syntax in your comment? - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 12:09, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Only ~1570 bytes? But doing more would cause more harm.... ~2026-28007-74 (talk) 12:05, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

And /Archive 15 does exist to prevent the same problem from occurring to the 14th. Very helpful if you want to read /Archive 14 ~2026-28007-74 (talk) 12:06, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I must be getting soft in the head: I didn't for a second appreciate how I was setting myself up there... SnowRise ^{let's rap} 05:14, 7 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Re the AfD discussion for MV Hondius. Stop badgering those with a different opinion to you. I respect your right to nominate the article for deletion. I hold nothing against you for doing so. Commenting on each and every opponent's post is a form of bullying. It stops now! Mjroots (talk) 04:36, 8 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

For those playing along at home, this concerns Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/MV Hondius

• When an AfD participant votes "It's important", and I link to WP:ITSIMPORTANT, that's not bullying.
• When an AfD participant votes "The article gives interesting information", and I link to WP:ITSIMPORTANT, that's not bullying.
• When an AfD participant votes "Keep, big enough to be notable", and I respond that "Bigness isn't a notability criterion", that's not bullying.

On the other hand, when an admin comes to my talk page to intone It stops now!, that sounds perilously close to a command or instruction from you to me, which you are in no position to make, and is something which I might quite reasonably suggest is bullying, if I were the type given to whining about bullying. I suggest you spend your time finding reliable, independent sources.

The AfD is infested with fanboys who don't know what notability means -- one participant claims that the following constitutes significant coverage: Local media report that the Dutch cruise ship *Hondius*, hailing from Vlissingen, also diverted its course. The ship was en route to Argentina but was notified of the accident by Chilean authorities and asked to assist in the search. The crew and passengers did indeed spend several hours doing so. Instead of giving me grief about telling these benighted people to read up on policies and guidelines, you should be showing leadership as an admin by telling them the same thing. EEng 16:25, 8 May 2026 (UTC) P.S. And now someone's comparing this ship to the Titanic [5]. Gotta love it. EEng 17:08, 8 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Mjroots is an involved admin, having commented in the AfD and disagreed with you, and the warning here is a bit shouty for my tastes.

EEng, in light of recent events, I advise you to be like Caesar's wife (minus any GENSEX connotations that my inelegant reference might suggest). You are right. There is cheese. Better not to reply to many of the AfD fanboys. A trick I have learned, that avoids the dreaded badger cry, is to post a single follow-up comment in AfDs, not posted in reply to anyone in particular, in which I seek to further explain my thinking (or that's what I say), and I use that opportunity to point out the fallacies of all the fallacious inputs, without appearing to address the comment to any particular fanboy. --Tryptofish (talk) 20:42, 8 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Ahh, WP:PEPPER. Great essay. No need to be cagey about your true intentions if you do that, it works because it's courteous to put text in one spot on the screen instead of more text spread all over the screen.

Yes, I would like to say, EEng, the reason you have someone here accusing you of badgering is because you've been badgering. The closer of the AfD will be able to read. They will see the first time you asked "what sources?".

EEng, I would especially like you to notice that this is an AfD concerning a question of significant coverage of a cruise ship. It's a cruise ship. A big honkin' boat which sees tons of tourists every year. I haven't looked into the matter much myself, but my intuition would tell that more likely than not, it is going to have significant coverage. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 21:25, 8 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Your intuition has led you astray. The MV Hantavirus carries a maximum of 170 passengers, making it somewhere between 1/45 and 1/10 the size of the "big honkin' boats" I'm pretty sure you're thinking of.

A good way to expiate your sin of forcing me to get out my calculator and divide would be for you to review the sources cited in MV Hondius, and then file your !vote at Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/MV_Hondius.

Meanwhile, here's the latest entry in the catalog of !votes by people who don't know (in this case literally, I'd say) which way is up: KEEP, The MV Hondius is not a notable ship. EEng 03:04, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

You'd actually managed to catch me in the middle of looking into it myself and coming to that exact conclusion, haha!

You'll have to forgive me, though, because I think I'm out of bounds for WP:CANVASS at this point. Especially now that you've literally asked me to file a !vote. It's just as well, I ought to try to conserve my mental energy for finals.

My recommendation is to make a new post on the AfD where you try apologizing for the peppering, and present the counterargument you just wrote, plus a more thorough rebuttal of some of the sources provided. And also, calculate the roots of the polynomial ${\displaystyle x^{2}-13x+42}$. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 03:55, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

You're way, WAY overreading CANVASS. I have no idea how you'll !vote. For all I know you'll make a brilliant keep argument, and I'll be convinced to change my own !vote. On top of which, you said you were already looking into; you don't have to abort doing that just because I suggested that you do what you were already doing. EEng 15:53, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

No, I probably wasn't going to participate anyways. I was just curious. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 05:03, 10 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

and also calculate the roots of the polynomial x² - 13x + 42 funnily enough, I too, have the misfortune of being in an algebra class that is doing basically the same type of stuff. (More specifically, everything about quadratics.)

At first I was thinking I'd need some number who's square is negative, but then I realised that I misread the equation as "x² + 13x + 42", so then I solved for x=0 and found the first root, but after that I kinda gave up.

So, I went on Wolfram|Alpha and plugged in the equation, and the roots apparently are x=6, and x=7.

Just curious: is this a random equation you found, or one you created? - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 04:19, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Created! It's easy enough to do so, just had to FOIL out ${\displaystyle (x-6)(x-7)}$. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 04:22, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Ohhhh, okay, I figured since those specific numbers seemed eerily artificial; small chance of both of them naturally occurring in a random problem. Random unimportant question: How is your algebra class? I have probably one of the worst ones in my city, and coupled with the fact that I seldom have time at home outside of week days, I am failing the class, luckily not by much, though. - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 04:41, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Haha, I got an affinity for basic algebra really early on, through DragonBox. I don't remember my algebra class very well, but I reckon I probably soared through it easily. I'm far past algebra now, though. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 05:00, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Good for you! I wonder how math prodigies would fare in a classroom where the chatter of students occasionally gets loud enough to shatter glass.^[Hyperbole] - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 05:18, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Nah, that's not anywhere near canvassing. You showed up here, EEng didn't ping you or post to your page. Valereee (talk) 19:16, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

I meant, I only saw the post because I have EEng's talk page on my watchlist. Maybe WP:CANVASS wasn't the right thing to link; I just don't want to give the impression that I'm only participating because it's EEng (which, honestly, would be kinda true). Especially not when it's a discussion that already has a {{notavote}} notice on it.

Maybe I'm overthinking things, but my point about just kinda not wanting to do it still stands. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 19:26, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

IMO? Yes, you're overthinking things. :D It doesn't matter that you have a certain editor's page on your watch. For one thing, no one could really keep up with EEng's talk, so it's basically random whether you saw it here. But totally fine if you don't want to participate at the AfD. Which I just !voted at, after stumbling across it here. The arguments there are absurd. I wish we could just require no event can be covered until 30 days after it occurs. Valereee (talk) 19:33, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

There's a joke somewhere around here relating my invoking of WP:CANVASS to the Canvas outage. I can't seem to find it, though. MEN KISSING (she/they) Talk to me, I don't bite! - See my edits 19:48, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Dorothy, we're not in canvass any more. --Tryptofish (talk) 19:52, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I noticed one of your recent messages directed towards another user regarding an articles for deletion, and it appears that you may have breached our canvas guidelines. Although constructive hacking is allowed on Wikipedia, inserting JavaScript code in a comment that makes other users get locked out of their account until they pay a ransom can be harmful for the encyclopedia. As such, your code has been overturned. Thank you for your understanding!^a - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 20:29, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

KEEP, The MV Hondius is not a notable ship I may never recover from that one. —Myceteae‍🍄‍🟫 (talk) 20:45, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

At first when I saw this, I read it as KEEP, The MV Hondius is a notable ship, completely skipping over the "not", so when I came back and realized I read it wrong, I literally physically facepalmed.

It seems I too, won't ever recover from this delirious vote either. - BlueEleephant (talk · contribs) 22:33, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

BLOCK him. EEng is a valued editor. Similar logic, come to think of it. --Tryptofish (talk) 23:21, 9 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Mine was the opposite turn of events. I thought surely I'd misread it. I re-read it several times. All I could do was marvel at it. —Myceteae‍🍄‍🟫 (talk) 00:28, 10 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Hello EEng,

Backlog update

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MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 23:37, 14 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]

Turns out they're a sock (shocker): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Sockpuppet_investigations/~2026-20359-17 ~2026-29984-80 (talk) 09:49, 19 May 2026 (UTC)[reply]